The Bacon of Tofu with Vegan Biscuits and Mushroom Gravy

(Vegetarian, Vegan, Gluten-free)

Simon’s a vegetarian until we leave the house. Then, it’s all about bacon. Perhaps his body is screaming out for saturated fat or perhaps he has a nitrate deficiency, I don’t know, but the moment that someone else is doing the cooking, he’s blissfully subsumed into the bacon subculture.

You don’t know what I’m referring to? Surely you do. Bacon is hot stuff right now: Bacon t-shirts, bacon chocolate, bacon fan clubs, bacon peanut butter caramel ice cream (on this menu), even bacon baskets for godssake. It’s probably not fair for me to say this since I haven’t eaten meat in 22 years but, honestly, I think it’s just plain silly. And then the icing on the bacon cupcake: suddenly this craziness has risen to the stature of a movement, and the Baconists have their own bloody think tank. Bacon may kill you but apparently it will never die.

So, Simon hearts bacon at least as much as he hearts me.  But Simon, whose only real experience of religion came when he saw 2001: A Space Odyssey when he was 12, has given up bacon for Lent. To keep me company while I’m vegan, I suppose. I guess I’m lucky he didn’t give me up instead.

It’s hard for him, too, this absence of bacon, and I’ve been brainstorming ways to help that don’t count as cheating.  Like, store-bought veggie bacon is cheating, and besides, I can’t come up with any nutritional virtue (it’s virtuous only it what it lacks). So then I was remembering that last summer, Claudia went nuts over the ‘bacon of fish” and I’m still trying to talk one or two of my friends into buying some with me (to help dilute the ridiculous price). At first I thought that Lent might be a way to sort of justify it – till I remembered that I’m not eating fish.

At last I did what any good chef-in-residence would do – I made some.

But before we get to the recipes, I want to talk about where my recipes are coming from. Last time, I gave you an assignment: track down a copy of Veganomicon and spend some time with it, ideally in the kitchen, so that we can talk about it together. Did you? Oh, good! What did you make? What did you think?

Here’s what I thought: Veganomicon is a beautiful cookbook full of recipes that genuinely reach two pinnacles of culinary destination: gourmet and comfort food. The recipes also happens to be vegan.

The book has a centerfold of photos that make my stomach rumble, and the book (or my book, anyway) falls open to a tempting shot of spicy tempeh nori rolls. Now, I think I’ve mentioned here how painfully I’ve missed sushi during my vegan days. I’m not a fan of tempeh but I thought I’d give it another go, and in these rolls, it’s quite good. True to their name, the rolls are indeed spicy, as well as creamy, crunchy and nutty. Served up with some avocado-cucumber rolls, they completely satisfied me. Other inspiring recipes in the book include Baked Potato and Greens Soup with Potato-Wedge Croutons, Potato and Kale Enchiladas with Roasted Chile Sauce, Israeli Couscous with Pistachios and Apricots, Cauliflower and Mushroom Pot Pie with Black Olive Crust, Quinoa Salad with Black Beans and Mango, and Mediterranean Style Cashew Cucumber Dip. Really. I don’t need to review this book. I could just rattle off a list of the recipes.

As I mentioned last time, a good sauce makes all the difference between a bland vegan dish and one that sings. Although it’s true that Veganomicon has more than enough variations on pesto to get you through three summers, plus the requisite vegan “cheez” sauce recipes (made with nutritional yeast flakes and mustard powder – generally, I find, a pretty solid argument against veganism), the book is teeming with a rich collection of dips, moles, gravies, dressings, salsas and sauces. Some of my favorites include the Chocolate Chile Mole as well as their Green Pepita Mole, a simple Red Wine Roux,  Vodka Pasta Sauce, and Mushroom Gravy.

And then we get to dessert. Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero, the brain and inspiration behind Veganomicon and the vegan podcast/cooking show Post-Punk Kitchen, are known for their vegan baking. Their first book, Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, became an instant cult classic. Some of these cupcakes make it into this book, as well as can’t-possibly-be-dairy-free recipes like the elegant Pistachio Rose-Water Cookies, Almond-Anise Biscotti, and Banana Chocolate Chip Bread Pudding.

Most of these recipes are easy – and fast. And generally they don’t call for any ingredients you won’t already find in a well-stocked foodie’s pantry. Vegan or not, this is a book that I will be turning to over and over again.

So that’s what I thought. And here’s what I made:

The Recipes

As I mentioned, I made bacon for Simon. Are those of you who eat bacon going to think this is bacon? Okay, no. But it’s good – salty, smoky, crunchy – and Simon (who may have been being appreciative of my effort) said it satisfied his craving. The other benefit to my way of thinking is that it’s recognizable as food – it’s made from slabs of tofu, flavored with salt and spices, and cooked in the kind of oil – and the amount of oil – I choose.

Tofu is unwieldy, any way you slice it. And I find that it’s not too easy to slice it thin. I did the best I could – you can see how well that was. But submitted to the high temperatures and oil long enough, it crisps up and gets a meaty, chewy texture. In a vegetarian sort of way.

I had a lot left over, so I tried baking it. That worked too, though it was less crispy. It tasted more like chicken.

I took my basic concept from Veganomicon’s Pan-fried Tofu, except  I omitted the soy milk and the cornmeal and added nutritional yeast flakes. Here’s how it went:

The Bacon of Tofu: Home-Brewed Tofu Bacon
1 package of extra-firm organic tofu, pressed
½ cup flour
½ cup nutritional yeast flakes
1 tablespoon smoked paprika
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon ground white pepper (if you don’t have it, black will do, but white pepper is frequently used in meats – or so I’m told – and somehow it does conjure the flavor of animal)
½ cup low-sodium soy sauce
a few generous dashes of liquid smoke

Slice a slab of tofu in down the middle, so that you have two thin slabs. Line a cutting board with paper towels and then place the two slabs on the towels. Lay more towels on top of the tofu, and place another cutting board on top. Place something heavy on top of this, like a Dutch oven or a pressure cooker or your favorite stoneware bread-rising bowl — you get the picture. Let sit for a half hour, switching out the paper towels with fresh ones once.

When moisture is pressed out of the tofu, slice it into thin narrow strips, making it look as close to bacon as you can. You know, for tofu.

Place soy sauce and liquid smoke in a bowl. Add tofu and marinate for about 20 minutes.

In another bowl, mix the flour, yeast flakes, paprika, salt, and pepper. Dredge the marinated tofu slices through this mixture and place on a plate or tray.  If you’re pan-frying them, add enough cooking oil coat the bottom of a nonstick skillet.  Heat oil on high heat until it sizzles when a drop of the flour mixture is added. Fry the tofu until it is browned on each side, flipping once. It will take about 10 minutes total.

If you are baking them, preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Oil a baking tray lined with parchment paper and place the tofu bacon on it. Bake until the bacon is golden-red and crispy, flipping once or twice, about 20 minutes. Let cool slightly before eating, as the tofu will firm up and the coating will set.

Vegan Biscuits with Mushroom Gravy

So, since I was making bacon I figured why not go whole hog? I love biscuits and gravy, but don’t ever let anyone tell you they can be made with soy milk. Especially not vanilla soymilk. So, when I saw in Veganonicon’s index that there was a Mushroom Gravy recipe, I was curious and hopeful – and pleased to find that it did not, in fact, make the soy milk mistake.

I’m not going to reprint the recipe for biscuits, but know that it can be found on page 172 of the book.  And here’s a tip: the dough is kind of shaggy and moist – to achieve a smooth biscuit, wet your hands with water before shaping them.

Very Good Vegan Mushroom Gravy
2 cups vegetable broth
¼ cup flour
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, diced
10 ounces cremini or baby portabella mushrooms, thinly sliced
3 (I used 5, but that’s just me) cloves garlic
1 teaspoon thyme (2 if you’re fortunate enough to be using fresh)
½ teaspoon dried sage
½ teaspoon salt
Freshly ground black pepper to taste
½ cup white wine

Mix the flour into the vegetable broth and beat with a whisk until it’s dissolved. Set aside.

Preheat a large, nonstick pan over medium heat. Sauté the onion and garlic in the oil for about five minutes, until translucent.  Add the shrooms and sauté for another five minutes. Mushrooms will be very tender and fragrant.

Add the thyme, sage, salt and pepper. Cook for a minute or two longer, stirring. Add the wine and turn the heat up. Bring gravy to a simmer and let it bubble for a minute. Lower the heat and stir in the vegetable broth mixture.  Stir constantly until thickened, about five minutes. Spoon over the just-baked biscuits and enjoy!

Lenten Lentil Soup  with Piment d’Espelette and Grilled Avocado and Mango

(Vegan, Gluten-free)

Cooking becomes a challenge when you give up indoor plumbing for Lent. I don’t imagine this sacrifice will win me any points when I get to the other side, either. After all, you know the earnestness with which that phrase about cleanliness is uttered.  It’s been plain unholy in my house this week.

88- year-old homes have their problems. More than most, I reckon. The issue du jour in our old house has to do with sewer lines, and, well, we’ve been borrowing a cup of water from the neighbors.  I finally got tired of it though so I hiked three miles to the village well and carried 5 gallons up the hill on my back, just so that you could see how lentil soup is made.

Am I being dramatic? Okay, maybe I am.  By the weekend, when the plumber has left us with his invoice, this little experiment in abstinence will be over and we’ll fully re-embrace all the amenities of 21^st century life. Still you better make this soup!

Jokes aside, I do alter the way I live during Lent. I go vegan. For the last seven years, I’ve given up all animal products – milk, cheese, fish, eggs, sushi – during the 40 days before Easter. I am not a practitioner of any faith these days, not with any regularity anyway, but I find this ritual to be deeply grounding, both spiritually and physically.

Most of you have figured out by now that during ordinary time I’m pescetarian. That is to say, I get my protein from fish, dairy and plant sources, but not animals with legs. During Lent I rely exclusively on plant sources. Why? Not because I subscribe to fire-and-brimstone preachery, nor self-inflicted penance, suffering and shame. Quite the opposite.

In its origins, I suspect that the notion of deprivation during Lent was not so much an imperative from God as it was a reality of life. During the Lenten season, which comes at the very end of winter, there must have been little left to eat and certainly nothing growing in the garden. Centuries ago, refrigeration and preservation via plastic packaging wasn’t an option, and strawberries didn’t get shipped in from California year-round. The season before Spring, then, was a time of natural hardship and deprivation, an exercise in patience and ingenuity during the season of looking-forward. While the people waited for the frozen earth to crack open like an Easter egg and bubble over with fertility once again, they probably did give up their candy bars and their cookies, not to mention their fresh eggs and pork (since most of the animals would have been slaughtered before the onset of winter, during the Autumn harvest celebrations) and anything else that couldn’t be naturally preserved in some way.

No doubt then, you’ll note some inconsistencies here. Like the tropical fruit topping my Lenten lentil soup, and the Piment d’Espelette from the Basque region. It’s not a perfect practice, I admit, but it does get me into the spirit of this natural time, with full anticipation of the growing season. Going vegan during Lent lets me experience this leanness in my own way. I eat as seasonally as I can, and the absence of animal products reconnects me with a basic kindness toward the world that I’d like to embed in all aspects of my life.It allows me a lighter carbon footprint (if I choose smartly).  Besides, the other half of the reason I do it is selfish – my sinuses thank me for the month-plus long reprieve from the assaults of dairy. (Anybody else reading this have sinus problems from cheese and milk? It’s tragic).

So what do you say we all trek down to the well to fetch the family’s water, and then put the kettle on for a pot of lentil soup?

The Recipe

Piment d’Espelette is my current food obsession.  Claudia from Cook Eat Fret was the first to put it on my radar and then, just like a new car, I started seeing it everywhere. My obsession has gotten out of hand — I’m so taken that when Simon and I run off to Europe to get married later this year, I’ve talked him into a trip through the Basque region. (And would it not be beyond cool to tie the knot in the Church of Espelette? They could throw chiles at us instead of rice…)  Piment d’Espelette is a chile powder, named for the village in the Pyrenees where it’s grown, and in Basque cooking it is so beloved and widely used that it has replaced black pepper at the table. And why? Oh, how to describe this sublime little chile?

Now, I know foodies are strange birds, preferential to the point of comedy, but honest, this stuff is special. Shaded a red that is both deep and bright at once, the heady aroma is the first clue that you’re dealing with something out of the ordinary. Sweet, smokey (even though the pepper hasn’t been smoked), and bearing a slight tickle, it’s a smell that naturally inspires you to open your mouth in anticipation. The flavor is sort of like paprika but sharper, stronger and a tad spicier;  still, reaching just 4,000 on the Scoville heat scale (which climbs all the way to a devastating 200,000), this is a mild pepper, which means that its subtle qualities aren’t overrun by heat. This is full-frontal flavor — fruity, lively, a bit dusty, rich, with a long, warm finish.

The other thing of note in this recipe is the grilled fruit. I think avocado is just about perfect already, but grilling it elevates it to inspirational. I don’t know what happens, technically speaking, but adding heat makes the avocado nuttier, creamier, and, if left to the flames long enough, a tad crunchy on the outside. Try it if you haven’t — you’ll thank me. The mango stays a mango when put over heat, but the flavor intensifies and the flesh becomes softer. And it leaves me looking ahead not just to Easter, but to outdoor cooking time…

Lenten Lentil Soup with Piment d’Espelette and Grilled Avocado and Mango

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium yellow onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
1poblano, diced and seeded (or, use as many seeds as you want heat – it’s also mild, about 1,500 on the scale)

1/2 tablespoon cumin seeds
1 tablespoon cumin powder
1 tablespoon coriander
1 tablespoon Piment d’Espelette (you can also use a combination of ancho and paprika but it won’t be the same!)

½ teaspoon ground allspice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon (or so) of ground cloves

1 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups dry red lentils
7 cups vegetable broth
2 tablespoons red wine
Zest and juice of one lime

1 mango, sliced into thin strips
1 avocado, sliced into thin rounds

In a stock pot or Dutch oven, heat the oil on medium heat. Add diced onion, garlic and poblano. Stir to coat with oil and cook for 5 minutes. If garlic starts to brown and crisp reduce heat to medium-low. Add the cumin seeds and powder, the coriander, the Espelette, allspice, cinnamon and cloves. Stir to coat the vegetables and sauté for about 2 minutes, till the heat has permeated the spices and brought forward their flavors.

Add the salt, dry lentils, broth, red wine and lime zest and juice and turn heat to medium high. Allow liquid to heat and then reduce flame to medium low. Simmer for about 15 minutes, until the lentils are soft. Taste and adjust salt as needed. You also might sprinkle in a bit more Espelette.

Heat a good, nonstick skillet on medium high heat. If the finish is at all damaged, you’ll want to add just a touch of oil to the pan. Gently place avocado and mango slices on the skillet and grill them until they are lightly browned on the outside. If you have a skillet with grilling ribs, even better.